Cosmo’s 7 Secret Signs V.S. The Average HR Hero

I recently read Cosmo’s Secret Signs He’s Amazing in Bed (yes, even an old-fashioned gal like myself needs to keep up with the modern ways of the world ;P ), enjoyed it and then came up with a fun idea!

What if one were to take the average Historical Romance Hero and pit him against the criteria of this list? How would he fare? Have our favorite authors nailed the secret to how good these men are in bed?

Well, let’s have a look, shall we? 😉

Number One: Number one on the list states that you’ll know he’s good if he knows his way around a guitar, or is into music or art (the so-called ‘geeky’ activities). Well.  Seeing as the guitar wasn’t even invented back in the 1700/1800’s, that’s a no go. However, pianos did abound and music and art were definitely in their prime! What’s more it was considered ‘feminine’ to pursue such activities. A man was thought to enjoy more masculine things like hunting and fencing. Hmmm, well I can definitely think of at least one hero who fits that criteria! Jocelyn Dudley,the Duke of Tresham (from Mary Balogh’s More Than a Mistress) is man who appears cold and ruthless but then secretly harbors a gift for playing the piano. Course no one knows about this until the heroine uncovers his secret. So I guess that makes number one a YES.

Number Two: Number two says focus on the way he eats, as that’ll say a lot about his nature in the bedroom-If he gobbles it down quickly, you’ll know he’s all about instant gratification in the bedroom. Hmmm, well the Earl of Storrington from Miranda Neville’s Never Resist Temptation definitely enjoyed his food and took his time-ah, savoring it, **cough cough** Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve read a hero who isn’t about taking his time with food and not golfing it all down. Guess that makes this one a YES.

Number Three: Number three says he’s better in bed if he has a bigger salary. Well, that’s an obvious one. The average HR hero is usually an earl, a marquess or a duke which means piles of cash and at least two big houses, tons of servants, not to mention acres of farmland which is their main source of their wealth. So this one’s definitely a big, fat wad of YES.

Number Four: This one talks about the body of a man. Well, he’s gotta be fit in order to do the job right? It even states that if he’s larger than most men, it’s a good sign-as it means more endorphins. Again, obvious. Everytime the heroine meets her man, there are all these descriptions like his firm, muscular body, his broad shoulders, his intimating height, etc… God, I could go on but then well never get to the end 😉 So, YES again.

Number Five: Confidence is key. Again, obvious. There hasn’t been ONE hero who isn’t confident, usually to the point of arrogance (Mr. Darcy, any one?)-I mean it’s always ‘he had a sureness about him’, ‘he seemed so comfortable in his skin’, ya da ya da ya! YES again!

Number Six: If he’s open about his feelings for you right away, it’ll be easier when you’re intimate. Well, hell, that’s dead obvious too. Remember how our confident, smooth hero tells a lady exactly what he thinks about her? You know the part that makes you shiver cause he’s being too darned sexy in telling the heroine how he feels about her? So this one’s definitely another YES.

Number Seven: Last one says nice guys are better in bed. Hmmm, now this one is a toughie. Considering that 99.9% of all HR heroes are rakes with unsavory reputations (who are, naturally, talented in bedroom activities), how on earth can this be true? But then again, isn’t the hero always in some way misunderstood and not really as rakish or as devilish as he appears? And don’ they always end up changing for the women they love? Take this example-Lucas Hadley from Cara Elliot’s Sin with a Scoundrel, is a rake but is also deep down more than just another pleasure seeker. Not to mention the fact that despite these heroes being rakes, they always treat their partners well in bed-and never take more than they get. So, maybe they’re not nice in the traditional sense but they are nice to the women they love! So, I would say YES!

Conclusion: Well, bless my soul, it seems that our favorite authors really do know what makes a skilled man a skilled man! Seems like the HR heroes really do live up to their rep as awesome guys in bed. Glad to know that there was some truth in them and they weren’t complete fantasies for us women 😉

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